Discord
by nora0001
Summary: Rin's life is falling apart, her friends aren't who she thought they were, her boyfriend's been cheating on her, and life just isn't something she want's to live for any more that is until she meets a certain someone. Trigger warning also contains some cursing. (first fanfic)
1. Chapter 1

A typical day, or so I thought. I was awakened to the sound of my pounding alarm that I barely managed to shut off. I groggily got on my feet trying to regain my conscienous.

I had trouble sleeping last night, but who wouldn't when their two-month anniversary was just around the corner? No, i'm serious, I had trouble keeping Kagamine Len off my mind.

Len was perfect, he had honey blond hair that he kept in a short ponytail, captivating cerulean blue eyes, and milky white skin, but this wasn't why I fell for him.

Len had changed my life, he taught me the value and meaning of life. My friends also got along and loved him and vice versa, what more could a girl ask for? -sigh- things couldn't get any better.

Wait, let me introduce myself I am Rin Kagamine, I'm a 15-year-old girl and I am considered smarter than your average teenager and no me and len aren't siblings or related we just have the same surname.

Anyways I was getting off topic, I need to get ready for school. I glanced at the clock which read 5:25, I took a quick shower and dried myself off. I proceeded to brush my short blonde hair, tie my white ribbon around my head in a bow like fashion which earned me the nickname of bunny by len, put on my uniform, grabbed an orange, and walked out the front door by 6:00.

"RINNY KINS.'" screeched Gumi as she glomped me from behind.

I mentally suffocated Gumi as we toppled over "OW" I loudly exclaimed as we landed on the ground and my half eaten orange became inedible.

I got up dusted myself off crossed my arms over my flat chest and glared down at gumi "YOU owe me a hundred precious oranges or I will dig your grav-."

"Chill Rin their just oranges." giggled the interrupting, leak-loving, tealette known as Hatsune Miku.

"JUST ORANGES. JUST ORANGES. ARE YOU INSANE?! ORANGES ARE A GIFT SENT FROM HEAVEN STUPI-." I began screaming on the top of my lungs not caring who looked.

"Riiiiin why didn't you respond to my text messages." Interrupted the pouting Teto who just saved Gumi's and Miku's asses from my wrath.

"Shit.' I said in a barely audible voice." Forgot my phone." I muttered, but it was way too late to turn back now.

My mother HATED when I forgot my phone and Neru texted like crazy and also hated when I didn't respond as well, wait Neru wasn't here! I sent a prayer of thanks to god. Avoiding Neru's wrath for now.

"Hey where's Neru?' I ask dumbfounded by my luck.

"Actually we don't know either" responds one of my best friends Gumi.

Let me explain Gumi, Miku, Neru, Teto, Luka, Len, Kaito, Mikuo, Gakupo and I were all a part of a special advanced music class and we were all best friends but Gumi and I were closer than everyone else for some odd reason.

Sorry for getting off topic again but, Neru not being here was good.

It was certainly better than having Neru suffocating me to death for not responding to her. Sheesh, I don't know why she made a big deal out of always knowing where I was at.

We shortly arrive at the school's front gates where I usually meet up with my lovely shota boyfriend Len, but he isn't here today either. That's weird maybe he was nervous because of our anniversary?

Anyways I had a couple minutes to spare before class so I went in search of him!

"Hey i'll meet you guys in class" I say my farewell to my friends as I make a detour to where Len and I ate lunch together under the sakura trees.

"Hmm" I glance around but he's nowhere to be found and he is really hard to miss so I head over to our favorite place the music room.

I wander in and out of the plethora of practice rooms we had hoping to spot Len until I finally see him!

His back is turned to the door when I saunter in, he doesn't even notice me, but I don't even get two steps in before I see someone in their with him.

WAIT NO, my legs were giving up on me; I couldn't breathe, I couldn't believe my eyes I scream as tears stream down my face and I run out of there "WE'RE FUCKING DONE BASTARD." I screech sprinting away not knowing or even caring where my legs were carrying me.

Yup, my boyfriend Len was cheating on me with Neru.


	2. Chapter 2

A cool breeze hits my face, snapping me out of the daze I was in.

My lungs were burning as I slowly started to recognize my surroundings. I was in the woods behind the school.

My mind absconded into oblivion yet again until I reach the lake where Len and I first met.

"No," I mutter as my vision becomes hazy. I drop to my knees whilst salty tears stream down my cheeks into my mouth.

I grab my head, the pain seared through my soul, it cut through my heart, twisted my insides, it made me writhe in agony.

The thought of Len was unbearable, I had to stop it, anything was better than this agonizing pain.

I frantically plunge my hands into my pockets trying to find anything sharp enough to make incisions on my skin.

"Yes." I cry as I grasp the mechanical pencil in my hand like my life depended on it.

I pull the selves of my yellow blazer up and run the pencil along my underarm. It had no result at first, at least not until I began to add more pressure and pick up speed.

I jabbed, stabbed, and dragged the pencil along my skin at an alarming rate. Waiting for the pain to cease.

"Finally" I murmur.

A sigh of relief escapes my lips as the scarlet blood oozed out of my forearm. I shiver as a euphoria captivated my body holding me prisoner.

My surroundings turned dark while the blood-soaked my plaid skirt as I lost consciousness.

"drip drop drip drop" I'm awakened by rain pouring down on me, my arms feel sore and hurt, and my once bright plaid yellow skirt is now stained crimson with blood.

I glance at my surroundings and notice it's dark outside.

This was the first day of school I missed this year, but I don't really care. I won't be showing my face around school anytime soon especially after everything that happened today.

I drag myself to my feet and stumble through the woods trying to find my way out.

Everything was spinning I grab a tree stump to steady myself. Flinching as my arms made contact with the wood, I peer at the gashes on my arm, regretting it as soon as I done so.

Holding back bile I get up and make my way home again.

I enter the key into the door and saunter in. I instinctively go to my phone and stare at it dumbfounded. I had over 100 missed calls and 200+ text messages.

Thankfully only five were from my mom, but I understood why she was worried she was on a month long business trip, she only wanted to make sure I was okay. Why HE called I had no idea, that bastard had no right calling and texting me.

From: Len

To: Bunny

Rin I'm sorry. 7:03

I fucked up please take me back. 7:04

Rin I didn't mean to hurt you. 7:04

Rin please pick up my calls I care about you. 7:05

…

Come on Bunny let's just start over. 8:30

…

…..

...

"NO' I scream as I chuck my phone at the wall. Refusing to read any more of his lies.

I crawl back to my phone and sigh my phone wasn't broken my otter box sadly protected it.

I send a text to my mom letting her know I was alright and just forgot my phone home. With a few swift clicks, Len is also blocked. I gasp as I realize Gumi was still looking for me and she was where the majority of the calls and texts came from.

I text Gumi an apology and invite her over.

Rushing over to the bathroom I strip down, I turn the tap on and reach for the first aid package above my head in the cabinet.

I hated my life, why just why did I have to born?

This life was worthless we only lived to die, we only lived to get hurt, we lived to experience ceaseless pain.

As soon as things got better they only got worse, it was an endless cycle of despair, why continue it ?

The logical thing to do was to end this suffering.

I gritted my teeth realizing that I just finished bandaging my arm.

I jump in the shower surprised, the once calming effect the water had on me all disappeared.

Empty, I felt empty, the water quickly seeps through my bandages as I rush and finish my shower.

Re Bandaging my arm was the last thing I wanted to do. Luckily I finished before it came to that.

I get dressed in my gray leggings, wore my long sleeved black sweater and lay in bed awaiting Gumi's arrival.

Belly flopping on the couch I ponder my existence.

I was a joke, a short haired, flat chested, blonde bimbo. Why did I ever believe I had a chance with Len Kagamine?

-sigh- I cringe thinking about every mistake I made leading up to this exact moment.

I regretted meeting him, I regretted everything involving Len and me "UGH WHY" I scream.

When was I going to wake up from this nightmare, please why can't I just wake up already this wasn't funny

I stopped cutting once Len and I started dating thus making this all a dream; yes fake, this was all a fake dream.

Urging myself to an upright position I gingerly pinch my thighs to reassure myself this was all just a stupid dream.

When I felt the slight sting, the tears that I thought I had no more of came back proving their was no escaping this harsh reality.

-knock, knock, knock- "RIN OPEN UP NOW" I hear Gumi's raspy yet strong voice over my blaring thoughts.

Yeah, I was going to experience true hell...


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a week since Len and I broke up and I still haven't been able to pull myself together, not even enough to get out of bed and go to school.

Gumi delivers my homework to me every day which remains untouched in a pile underneath my bed.

Now you may be wondering what the fuck have you been doing home all week Rin? And let me tell you crying, cutting, and contemplating suicide. I also did a lot of thinking although it just made everything worse.

I thought about everything I did wrong.

Was I not pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, was my hair too short, and was I too loud?

I got up and stared into the mirror at the ugly, fat, billboard that was reflected back to me. Of course, Len cheated on me I was repulsive.

My blonde hair was far worse than a rat's nest tied in a bun above my hair, my eyes were all puffy and red, I was also a midget with no boobs, and just plain hideous with fat everywhere.

That's probably why none of my friends visited too except for Gumi, I bet she didn't even want to come either. I was the largest scum of the earth that's definitely why none of them visited. No one could care for such a worthless being such as myself.

I felt bad for burdening all the people who were forced to deal with me and be my "friends".

Not my mom, dad, sister, or brother cared about me forget about Len who I actually thought cared.

Maybe if I was more like Neru Len wouldn't have cheated on me in the first place.

The tears stung my eyes and rolled down my cheeks while I thought about how good it would be to permanently end this pain.

I wasn't needed in this world anymore.

I tore off my grey cami tank top, and tread to the bathroom, I picked up my favorite razor and cut the only place I hadn't cut yet….my stomach.

I slowly drag the razor across the area right above my bellybutton which was also right between my ribcage and stare into the mirror fixated with the scarlet blood that oozed out.

The euphoria I used to experience stopped a while ago, no matter how deeply I cut I still felt empty.

I honestly don't know why I kept on this facade, I wasn't fooling anyone.

It was decided I was going to kill myself, but I didn't want to die as the ugly horrendous creature I was.

I was going to become skinny, pretty, and make Len regret ever breaking up with me.

After I was done with that I was going to hang myself.

Guess when it was all going to start?

Today.

I went skipping to my laptop, I looked at all the top diets, exercise regimens, and tips/ tricks. Not long after that, I came across a website called

I clicked on it deciding to check it out. It was a really a really nice blog spot with a neat clean front and very well organized.

What was on it you may be wondering? Everything, the inspiration to get thin or more commonly known as thinspiration, every diet you could think of, quotes, and countless tips and tricks.

You name it you'll find it.

I was in awe staring at everything and well their was a 100% guarantee that if you followed the diets to the tee and adhered to all the rules you would be satisfied with the results.

After a couple hours of exploring, I soon came to the realization pro-anorexia wasn't just a diet or fad, but a way of life.

This was something you did for the long run and judging from all the before and afters I was going to be happy.

I grabbed my diary and wrote the first 100 rules down…wow, I haven't written in this thing in years.

After much contemplation, I chose the ABC diet for now. I needed to get used to the way of things first.

I was also going to make the commitment to exercising every day too.

Tomorrow was the start of it and I was allowed only 500 calories.

The quote " Nothing taste as good as skinny feels." was permanently ingrained into my brain as I fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

"I promise i'll never leave you, I swear I love you so much"

"I could never get sick of you Rin" I hear lens putrid voice echoing through my head.

That fucking liar. Why did he have to promise?

"WHY DID HE HAVE TO FUCKING PROMISE" I screeched at the top of my lungs weeping in the corner of my room alone. Clenching tufts of my hair. I was having a relapse when I suddenly remembered everything Len said to me the night we officially agreed to be a couple for the first time. I was triggered by my old diary entries that I was reading through.

November 25, 2015.

Is this real?! Len told me he loved me for the first time. In fact, WE ARE DATING NOW! I'm dating my bestfriend. I'm dating the guy that saved me from ending my life. I even warned him that he would get bored of me, that I'm crazy and a lot to handle. He said he didn't care, that I was worth it and that he would never get sick of me. I started crying, while he held me in his arms in a warm embrace. I cried into his shoulder. He kissed my forehead to calm me down. I didn't think I was worthy of love. I didn't think I was deserving of it. How is this real? This is officially the best day of my life. I'm going to die smiling thanks to Len. I'll never wash my forehead again! -Rin.

I thought he actually loved me. I can't believe I fell for it. I can't believe I was so gullible. It was too good to be true. I even saw it coming.

When it was too late...that is.

It started with Len who was talking to me less and less. He stopped telling me he loved me suddenly. He also stopped wanting to hear my voice. He stopped calling me. Texted me less. This is only to name a few signs I failed to notice until now.

Wow, I was to blame. There were SO many signs. How did I fail to acknowledge them all?

I was so fucking stupid I wouldn't be heartbroken if I caught on earlier. I wouldn't have been caught by surprise. I wouldn't be starving myself if I wasn't oblivious to the world around me.

That's okay it's been 3 weeks since he has broken up with me i've lost 6 pounds already.

There was no way to fail with the pro ana diets if you followed them.

You were guaranteed satisfactory results if you just followed them to the tee that is.

I'm also growing out my hair It's finally a little past my shoulders. I'm planning on growing it out to be waist length.

Wow I was fueled by hate. Petty aren't I?


End file.
